The Personal, I-Would-Almost-Die-Of-Embarrassment - If-Anyone-Ever-Found-This Journal of Man-at-Arms Olkkgo ''

	September 5 Earlier this month I spied upon the Jester, at the monastery barbecue in the elven forst. I picked up his coffee cup, and noted the scrap of parchment under it... but I was unthinkingly eating apple strudel at the time. As I read the parchment, I suddenly realized the strudel which I was holding at my side was getting lighter and lighter. I looked down at it, and, sure enough, the Fairy dragon's head was stretching around from behind, and eating it. Then I made a tactical blunder... I yelled at the sod! In two seconds, he set me into an embarrassing, painful, and completely disjointed series of events. First he turned me into an apple, and gave me a guided tour of his digestive system. From there I suddenly appeared in a castle of dragons, with an "Eat Me" sign upon my back. &@$!*% dragon! Next I recongealed into my own body in the middle of a crowded ampitheatre. My outer garments, however, didst not. After the guards captured me and forced me to scrub every latrine in the castle, the fearie %$#&?@ dragon returned, and played one final trick on me. For an entire week, I was a flea, hopping around one of the guard rooms. I hope nothing like that will ever happen again. November 17 Today, I was able to get get some time off. So I went exploring the forest of the great web. However.... Due to my red-green color blindness, I got completely and totally lost. Before I knew what was happening, I had blundered into a section about Greek Mythology, and ended up in the Minotaur's maze. Suddenly, I heard a pawing and growling. I turned around, and there was the minotaur, charging toward me. I ran away down a side tunnel, and crahed through a wall, leaving a hole shaped like a profile of myself... For me, life often seems like a cartoon... Fortunately, this jogged the brain of the minotaur, who charged through walls and into the Grecian country side, presumably for a nice roast peasant. But who cares about them? I ran off and ended up into the workshop of daedaleus, where I grabbed his prototype wings. Jumping off a cliff, I discovered they didn't work, and, ostrich-like, ended up with my head buried in the sand. Ah, well... there's always the infirmery. Where I write this. December 2 Well here I am stuck on dungeon duty. Boy a lot of castle visitors come through here looking for that damed %$&#@ wumpus maze. Asking all sorts of inate and impossible to answer questions, like... What is the Word? or Where's the dragon? as if I would know, or even care! One even decided to jump into the sewage pit, something I would not even wish on the worst prisioner we may lock up. Just locked up a guy who took a fancy to the crown jewels, as if that bumbling fool could steal candy from a.... Oh god, no.... There is that %$&*~} dragon again! I hope he doesn't see me, no, don't come in here, no, no, not another pran...

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